she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize