how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
