did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
