he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
