doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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