My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize