She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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