Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
