You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize