Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
