all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
