bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
