1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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