Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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