The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
