I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
