Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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