Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
