The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
