There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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