My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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