she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
