did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
