i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
