Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
