..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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