Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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