so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
