I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
please come you make the beer taste better
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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