she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
