I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
