I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
