I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
