Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
