it's too hot outside to masturbate.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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