let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
