i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
