so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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