How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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