he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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