ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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