My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
