Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
