I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
