I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
