how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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