took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
