I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize