people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
