summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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