Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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