Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
