so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize