i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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