your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
