dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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