in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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