is your mom at the bar?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize