I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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