hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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