the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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