Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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