We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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