Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
