I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
