Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
