Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
A bitchslap is in order.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
