i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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