happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
