Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
