The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
