This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
